What is truly important?

This weekend was busy but in a way that I am thankful for! In the midst of the busyness I found myself wishing I had time to sit down and write. Thoughts have popped into my head over the last few days that I wanted to let out but I didn’t have time so I started to compile a list of topics to write about. However now that I have taken the time to sit down none of those things are appealing to me.

It’s funny how our brains work and how quickly our thoughts and feelings can change. Just observe the life of a one year old! This weekend there were definitely a few changes in feelings and emotions. We watched our little boy quickly turn from a tiny baby into a one year old in what seems so much shorter than a year. It was bittersweet to spend it with some of our friends and family while others couldn’t make it. However in the end of it we are both so happy to have this boy in our lives and having us all together is what is most important to us.

In the (almost) three years we have been married it has been incredible to see where we have placed the word “important”. Knowing now what is truly important to us makes me look back and shake my head at the people we use to be. A trip to Florida, a new car, an apartment downtown, a new purse, or pair of jeans, they are all just things. Things that never had the impact the sweet 8lb 7oz little boy has! He has changed our priorities, our views, our budget, and our day to day lives. He is important to us no matter what else is going on around us. I just wish we would have realized before we wasted all that money those things would mean very little in a few short years!

One thing that has remained constant in those years is how important my husband is in my life. I am incredibly thankful for him and our marriage. He is willing to do anything for me (even if I have to ask 15 times!) and would give me the world if I told him it was in the budget! I love watching him play with Graysen, even if its just long enough for me to change a diaper. It makes me so proud to see the amazing Dad he has become. I would move mountains to see him smiling but thankfully it doesn’t take that or I would be incredibly strong some days! He works weird hours at a job he doesn’t love but still comes home and has enough left over for Graysen and I. It breaks my heart to see him upset or disappointed over something and it is in those moments that I am so aware of the intense feelings I have for him. He is the love of my life and I am so thankful to have him as the father of my children (If there are more! NO I am not pregnant!).

I love knowing I have people, beliefs, opinions, that will constantly be important. I must remember to keep my focus on them and not try to fill my life up with other not so important things!

Every little things gonna be alright.

This week I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed and defeated. My sweet little boy has been teething and then ended up sick. I didn’t think it was too bad then his eyes starting draining puss, became red and clearly irritated, he was uncomfortable and still teething. So yesterday I took him to the doctor to find out his temperature had spiked, he had an infection in both eyes, a throat infection, a cold and was still teething. 

He had just started sleeping through the night again when a week later the teething kicked in and we were back to being up multiple times a night. I was exhausted. So illness was not exactly welcomed. We also have friends and family coming this weekend to celebrate his FIRST birthday! Yes my boy is going to be ONE! Being exhausted while getting ready for company is not a good mixture. I have dishes to do, laundry to fold, floors to clean, toys to pick up, and a boy who didn’t want to be put down! So the mess piled up and today it stared me in the face but I left it, my boy was feeling better after the all the medications kicked in and I just wanted to sit down without him crawling all over me whining. So tonight my living room is straightened, there are 3 baskets of clean laundry to be folded and put away and another in the dryer, a load of blankets to be washed to eliminate the return of infection, a kitchen piled high with dirty dishes, a bathroom that could use a good scrubbing, and all I wanted to do is ignore it. So I did. 

Tomorrow I am hoping to wake up with a new perspective and feel energized enough to accomplish the things I need to. Thankfully my boy will get to spend some time with his daddy, which I love listening to the giggles from both of them! 

The medications are working, 3 out of 4 teeth have at least broke through the gums a bit, he hasn’t woke up since he went to bed four hours ago, there may be hope. Until then I rest assured knowing that if my friends and family care that much if my laundry is folded or my bathroom is shining they have never met a boy as sick as mine was earlier this week and they can get up on their high horse and ride off into the sunset! 

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for only one purpose… to support the ultimate career.” – C.S. Lewis

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.. At least I think so!

I love winter and with winter comes snow. I love winter so much that I got engaged in winter, I got married in winter, I had a baby in winter! It is such a magical time of year, the world can go from complete chaos to a winter wonderland in hours. Stores close, cars get blocked in, kids have to go outside to play because the power is out or the satellite won’t work, and the world looks so peaceful. The site of fresh snow on tree branches is part of my happy place (see previous post). Being all snuggled up in a warm house with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate while the snow falls is my ideal winter day but I also enjoy being out in the snow.

This year is Graysen’s first real adventures with snow since he was just a newborn last year. He is the cutest little thing when he is all bundled up in his snow suit however he can’t move. The lack of movement makes for some interesting times outside, he has already face planted multiple times and had a little taste of the snow. He likes to be pulled around in his sled and likes to just sit and move the snow around. I cannot wait until next year! He will be at such a great age to play and make snowmen.

I am so grateful to have grown up in Canada where we get “real” winters. However on days like today when the winding is blowing and it is -15 with the wind chill I am also very thankful for a toasty warm place to live! Honestly though I love to get out in winter and enjoy the season, it has so much to offer and instead of sitting inside complaining about the snow on Facebook I encourage you to go find a winter activity and try it! You could have more fun than you ever imagined!

& this is where I find peace.

Have you ever been told to “go to your happy place”?

I have a happy place. If you have ever been to downtown Charlottetown you may understand why this is my happy place. It is a different world within those streets, there is so much character and it is absolutely gorgeous. It doesn’t matter what season it is I love being there. In the winter months the snow covers the trees and it seems so cozy, the streets are quiet and the tourists are few and far between. Summer is completely different, the streets are filled with tourists, the smell of food drifts through the open air, the sun beams down, but yet in a city full of hustle and bustle you can always find a quiet spot to sit and enjoy whatever you may be drinking.

I cannot tell you why or how this became my happy place but I love to put my headphones in and just walk. I grab a Starbucks beverage and just soak up my surroundings. I love sitting at the Confederation Center of the Arts with music pouring in my ears, watching the people, it is incredibly peaceful for me. I miss that place. I have yet to find a happy place here and my heart aches for it. When I leave downtown Charlottetown I feel refreshed like I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to.

I think Charlottetown has a very unique downtown core and the people have made it what it is today. I loved living there and I am so very glad that it is my happy place. Trust me I know how incredibly boring the place can be when you want something exciting to do though! Charlottetown needs more options for entertainment but for now I will enjoy the fact that it leaves me feeling happy.

Dear Graysen. Love Always Mom.

Tonight it is quiet and I am writing for you. Maybe someday you will come across this, or someone will show it to you. Reality is you never know when life is going to end and this may end up being more precious than I ever could have imagined.

You my dear are the most amazing blessing. I want you to know I love you. I have learned so many things already watching you grow from 8 pounds 7 ounces and 22 inches to 23 pounds and 32 inches. In the past year you have gone from being completely dependent on your parents to learning to roll, crawl, walk, and run. You already have 8 teeth and you are currently getting more. You have taught me to never take the little moments for granted. I appreciate every momma.. even if you are screaming your head off for me. It reminds me that you are mine and I am responsible for this incredible human being. Together with your father we must teach you the ways of the world, the rights and wrongs, the difference between black and white, that is terrifying and yet it excites me. I hope we do a good job and raise you to become a responsible adult who does well in life. I pray for you and the man you will become everyday.

You have been blessed with some fantastic people in your life. Never let them go and always show them the respect they deserve. One of them can be gone in the blink of an eye and you will never get to say the things you want, always tell them you love them. I don’t care if you think you have too many aunts, call them all often, they care about you and want to know how you are. I don’t care if you are in university and its not cool… either is smoking and I am sure you’ll try that. Your grandparents have brought up wonderful children (your father and I included!) never disrespect them, always tell them you love them, and visit often.

Go to school and do well. Something I wish I would have cared about in high school. Don’t do drugs. They will destroy you. Get involved in things. They will teach you who you are and what you want to do in life. Read the bible. There are so many lessons to be learned in that book and  love and faith to learn about that you won’t find anywhere else. Make friends that you keep through thick and thin. and girls well… that my son is a topic for another day. If you meet a girl you like, treat her with respect, listen to her, and think with your head not any other body part. (For more on that lesson consult your father.)

More than anything remember that life can pass you by in an instant. So take these words I wrote for you and read them often. I love you sweet boy, through the happy and sad, through the healthy and sick, there is nothing you can ever do that will change my love for you.

In April when you were just 3 months old we went to visit Nan & Gomps and I wrote this for you. Now that we live here these memories are becoming part of your story but I know there are more and I can’t wait to discover them with you.

These are the streets I know so well. These are the parks I played and fell. Those are the chairs Gomps sat and stories he did tell. And these are the places memories were made, the hours we spent playing until the sun did fade. I hope these things for you too my son, the stories told, the hours played, and sun kissed skin. Find streets you love, and trees to climb and Graysen make a million memories cause time sure does fly.

I love you forever,

Mom. xo.